Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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