i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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