Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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