so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
