Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
