I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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