Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
