these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
even my farts smell like vagina
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
