3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
