Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
