You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
