is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
