yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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