what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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