Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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