:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
