Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
