But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
