I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
