Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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