It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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