porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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