wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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