How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
