Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
