My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
