I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
