I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize