like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
