Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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