he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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