She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
