We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
