Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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