there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
