the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
