there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
How's work?
Spinning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
