She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
