I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize