what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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