That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
