I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
