I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize