Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
