I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
