11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
