Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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