i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
