Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How external is "for external use only"?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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