so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
