I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
