Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
