you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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