I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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