Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
