Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
