You just made me feel so damn special
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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